Back on Concerta

So here I am my second day back on Concerta. I cant really say that anyone would notice a difference. But I did say that I would let you know what its like being on the meds. It’s simply calm, quiet, purposeful, and like the pendulum has narrowed its swing a little. I noticed the last 2 conversations I had in a noisy place, I was able to concentrate. I was able to listen to the person I was actually talking to. Rather than the other conversations going on. What I notice right away is how the small tasks in daily life are not as monumental as they seem when I’m not on meds. Think of looking into a garage belonging to a hoarder. Thats what daily life looks like to me when I’m not on meds. “Where do I start”, I scream. I fret over so many things and so give up and do nothing. I find something to tune it out. But when I can focus, then these daily tasks are not as threatening. I see the benefit of doing one thing at a time. When not on meds its like all of it has to happen now! I know it has to be chemical. This is not a placebo. Because Ive tried every approach before I knew I had ADHD and none of it worked. For a placebo to work, you have to have faith in it. And I had faith in every diagnosis. Yes I must be bipolar, yes I must be a hypochondriac, yes I must have panic disorder. Each time I thought it was the answer. But those meds never worked. This does.