What I always thought

I thought I would reach this great place, an end that would be the beginning of the rest of my life.

1. like once I fell in love
2. then as soon as I graduated high school
3. then it was when I buy my first car
4. or when I get married
5. then it was when I buy my first house

then it still wasn’t there….I kept wondering, when am I going to arrive?

Then it was… well… I thought maybe its when I have a baby? Yeah thats it! That will be a family, but as soon as each thing happened there was always this feeling of nope, this isn’t it yet.

6.Maybe its graduating from college?
7. and finally getting a career.

But each time I got to the new goal, there was always something else to shoot for. A line to cross. I kept wondering, what am I doing wrong? aren’t I supposed to be finally starting life now?
Although I was happy I kept thinking there was something that defines you as an adult. Ok. You are here welcome to the club.

Then I found a lot of other people that felt the same way. Like always obsessed with getting somewhere; but we’re here. Its only right here. There is no other place. But don’t feel discouraged or sad about that, feel good. Because it means you’ve already arrived. You did a long time ago.

People are always talking to you when you are young about growing up; that its the best. So it feels like there is some kind of prize at the end.

But the prize was always here. I didn’t realize I was already living. We are breathing and awake, that’s all it is.